I recently took a personality test. They fascinate me and frankly it has been a WHILE. As usual, it’s typical for me to dwell on the parts that ring true but are considered less desirable. One result in particular was the need to appear that I have it all together. That there is some control or steadiness at all times. Unrealistic, but it sure makes for a good impression.
I love a regimen. Heck, I even love a hairstyle. I braided my hair the same way for years because it was my uniform – my identifying mark. Another ritual of control over an unpredictable body and mind.
Perhaps one of my number one reasons for daily practice is that it allows me the very opposite; space for me to not have it all together. To tune into what is going on – especially when I don’t like what I see. Trying to find steadiness when inside it feels weak.
The rest of the day you can put on a “happy” face to be a professional, a parent, or a friend but the asana practice gives you space to look at your thoughts and question their validity. How are my thoughts controlling my decisions today? Am I able to shift them? What will support me today so that I can live the rest of the day more fully?
Sometimes for me that looks like pushing myself past limiting thoughts that say, “Quit while you’re ahead.” Paired with a wince of disapproval at the inability to perform proficiently. Other times that means keeping my practice to fifteen minutes. Allowing myself the ability to focus for a shorter duration so I can then use that focus and energy elsewhere; teaching, meeting friends, even mundane household chores.
I know I’m using my mat-time wisely if I have energy for processing emotions, researching my interests and feeling motivated to connect with God and others. What does energy management look like for you? How can you better use your asana practice to support times when life feels jumbled?